Good morning, Minions, and welcome, once again, to another episode of the Chronicles of your favorite Cap’n.  It has been some time since your Cap’n has made an appearance in these articles, or on other social media sites for that matter. So it’s been requested, or rather encouraged, from “The Man With The Big Mustache” to possibly pull The Cap out of his state of semi-retirement, which really means I’ve had a dreadful case of writer’s block, and I don’t get out as much as I used to and observe weird situations or other comical scenarios to which I get to insert my twisted sense of humor for your entertainment. 

Basically, it’s me calling someone dum…. Errr… questioning an individual’s state of intelligence, at that particular moment, using as many drawn out adjectives that are normally infused with a vulgarity or four, and sometimes other random humorous zingers just to help us all get a laugh out of any given day.  This time around though… I gotta try something different...

CAP’S FIRST VILLAIN:  THE HELLSPAWNED BARBERRY.

Pickerus Impalemus Maximus

      Instead of grabbing it by the pot, as ya should always do, he grabs it by the hair instead.  

CAP’S SECOND VILLAIN:  THE DEMONSEED YUCCA PLANT

Painimus  Inmybuttimus

Now you may be asking, “Cap’n, what purpose does this plant have even though you want to launch a missile at them?”.  Simple:  They are nearly indestructible. Full sun? No problem.  Shady area?  They don’t care.  Lack of water? No problem. Nice flowers? Yep…for about 3 days until the wind snaps them off. Deer resistant?  Yep, even deer hate them. Nice foliage? If variegated green and yellow works for you, then definitely.  Basically, this is arguably the best low to NO maintenance plant in Michigan. Throw these into a blank area as a filler item, and you’ll have something to look at for years to come, just keep in mind that once you plant them, you’re probably going to be stuck with them for eternity.  For me personally, the plastic pots that they come in should be encased in concrete and stored here at the nursery in Block 36.  For those of you who don’t know where Block 36 is when you visit us:  that’s our drainage pond that’s about 15 feet deep. In my opinion, that’s the perfect place for them to exist.

CAP’S PRIMARY ARCH NEMESIS:  THE EIGHT-LEGGED FREAKS

Toomanyus Eyeballius

                Minions, I don’t fear many things. Snakes, clowns, enclosed places, heights, politicians, elevated mortgage rates, mimes, you get the idea.  I can coexist fairly enough with all of those common problem children, but your Cap’n does have a weakness, and the vast majority of my fellow coworkers (they’re Minions also, btw) and just about everyone that asks “Where is the Cap’n?” on social media knows exactly what it is: 

FRIGGIN’ SPIDERS!

                Ladies and gentlemen, evolution was having a VERY angry day when these creatures came into existence.  Maybe a meteor hit us that day, I don’t know.  I find them to be, arguably, the most brutal organism on Planet Earth. An old friend of mine that I worked with here for a long time asked as to why I have this hatred and fear of a little spider.  I then proceeded to tell him my point of view on these over-legged, over-eyeballed, and sometimes furry nightmarish monsters.  I just gave myself chills, and I haven’t gotten to the story yet. 

Picture this:  You’re a bug flying along looking for something to munch on during your few weeks of living when all of a sudden:  You stop abruptly.  You are stuck on a sticky web that you didn’t see.  Then you turn your head only to see an unidentified object with 8 eyeballs, 8 legs, and a couple of ginormous fangs speeding towards you, and there’s not a thing that can be done.  Well, if you’re in this scenario, at least it’ll be over quick, right?  Ohhhhhh Hell No! It bites you, but only paralyzes you.  THEN these evil, vile, sneaky trappers from Hades decide to start crocheting... with sticky thread…that originates from their ass… all over you.  Congratulations!  This abomination just turned you into a sweater. Thanks, Martha Stewart!  So now here you are: paralyzed, stuck in a web, you’re wearing a sweater in the middle of summer, feeling somewhat humiliated, and you’re not dead yet.  How can this get worse?  Along comes Demon Child again for a little snack… and you’re the snack.  Instead of hammering down and finishing you off like an 800-pound person at an all-you-can-eat buffet, it instead decides to sip on you like a Slurpee…for days... and during this whole time, the freakazoid is only getting LARGER. And hungrier.

                Fun stuff, right? Here’s some more for ya:  Some spiders have some pretty wicked poison to boot. Think about that:  A spider can cause significant damage to, or even kill, a PERSON with ONE BITE.  Wanna hear another fun fact?  DID YOU KNOW that the Daddy Longlegs spider is actually one of the MOST venomous spiders?  Fortunately for us, their fangs are so small that they can’t puncture our skin. With the way evolution goes, how long is that going to hold up?  I may be on my 104^th life by then, but it’s something to think about.  Anyhoo, I finished my story with my coworker, and I seriously think that I made him gain arachnophobia through my ramblings.  I did notice that he dusted the corners of his office a bit more often.

                “Cap’n, I want to obliterate every spider on the globe now!  They’re Brutal! They’re Evil! They can be deadly! Some are ENORMOUS!” How can they POSSIBLY have a purpose?”  As much as I hate to say it, we do need them.  Why?  They eat bugs, maybe like that damn Box Moth that’s causing some havoc around Michigan lately. It’s Nature's Insecticide!   As much as I want to stomp, drag, and smear them 6 feet underneath my boot, I do realize that if they don’t take out bugs, then our industry will suffer from various forms of insect contamination, damage, infestations, ect.  Sure, we can spray chemicals all day long, but the

 from arachnophobia.  After you walk through arborvitaes, get a face full of web, and notice that a fearsome, nightmarish creature with more eyeballs than you is staring back at ya, I have no problem making an appointment.

In late fall, besides the trees changing colors, you will also notice a change in your perennials. In this article, I would like to discuss fall perennial practices. Topics will include fall cleanup, which perennials should be cut back vs. which should not, perennial varieties that provide habitat for local wildlife, and how we close up the perennial greenhouses in the nursery. These tips should help with the overwintering process.

On the flip side, there are a few arguments for leaving some perennials in your garden alone. To protect the habitats of birds, and beneficial insects, you could consider not cutting Rudbeckia, Echinacea, Eupatorium or perennial sunflower. These seeds will provide food throughout the winter. If your home is close to wooded areas, meadows, or contains a brush pile, your garden may be even more habitat friendly. Some perennials that I would not cut back in the fall would be Asclepias, Ferns, Heuchera, and Dianthus. This is to protect the crowns during the harsh winter. Perennials are more cold-hardy when their stems are left intact. These stems can trap in snow, and work as an insulator for their crowns. A quick clean-up in the spring, and these will be just fine. The last reason why I would consider leaving some perennials be, would be their winter interest. Some stuff just looks awesome covered in snow! Species with stiff stems, or flat or cone-shaped dried flowers have a great winter look! Things like Sedum Autumn Joy, Ornamental grasses, or Echinacea Purpurea add to a garden’s winter beauty!

It is also not uncommon to line an entire house with some of those winter tolerant varieties to both save space, and act as a buffer for other material. We also have one heated structure that we use to protect our grasses (mainly Miscanthus, and Pennisetum varieties), from ever freezing. By keeping minimum heat on our grasses, we are ensuring a healthy, happy grass come spring.

Whether you are overwintering perennials in your landscape, or at your nursery there are many factors to consider. Moisture, temperature, snowfall, and sometimes just plain old luck are all factors that will determine how your perennials fare over a long winter. Keeping in mind potential winter damage, bird and insect benefits, and most importantly, what’s best for the plant, will ensure a seamless transition to the brisk winter days! Happy spring clean ups!

Sargent and Sargent Tina Crabapples are two of the most unique and reliable ornamental trees you can find. They offer beautiful colors year-round, are very low maintenance, and are great for wildlife. These Crabapples are extremely versatile, they can be used anywhere from focal points in gardens to lining driveways. Due to their dense and spreading growth habit, they can also work well as a privacy screen.

Sargent Crabapple’s growth habits make them unique. With dense winding branches that spread wide from the tree, they can provide a large canopy. If left unpruned branches may grow all the way to the ground providing a more shrub-like appearance. Sargent Tina is the smaller of the two varieties, they will grow to a height and width of about 5 feet. For this reason, they work better as an ornamental focal point in smaller landscapes. Sargents can grow to a height and width of about 10 feet.

Beautiful year-round, these crabapples both start with pink buds in the early spring that open to bright white blossoms covering the whole tree. As their flowers begin to drop they reveal a dense canopy of dark green leaves. The leaves will turn shades of gold in the fall before dropping and revealing a beautiful winding branching structure. In the fall the tree will also produce bright red fruits that are very attractive to birds and can persist into the winter.

Both varieties prefer full sun, regular moisture, and require minimal pruning. When planted the trees require regular watering until established. Once established they are relatively resistant to drought, insects, and disease. Pruning in late winter to remove dead, damaged, or unwanted growth is the best practice. This is also when it is easiest to see the full branching structure of the tree allowing you to shape and alter its irregular spreading growth habits.

If you would like to learn more about crabapples, check out Jacob's article from last year, Don't Worry, Be Crabby!

If you follow our Sticks & Stones articles, you know that as a buyer, my job is to find beautiful plants for you at a reasonable price. I think I do a respectable job at it. Lately, I have had some physical issues that have kept me from walking around as much but the salespeople at the nursery aren’t yelling about anything, so I think I am doing a good job. When I do head out to look at what just came off a truck, some things I do not look at. I just know they are fab. MAGIC!! Just kidding! No not really. Some nurseries do grow certain products that are always to die for, some other items may not be their specialty, so they need to be looked at. It doesn’t matter what nursery they come from, if it is a “Oakleaf” Hydrangea I am all over it!

I have decided this is going to be Hydrangea year again. (A year where I focus on improving my selection in a certain plant) My goal is to find a nice potted Oakleaf! You are going to see some new flavors this coming year! My best hope is with a new cultivar named ‘Jetstream’. Coming in at 5-6’ tall, it’s claim to fame is sturdy stems. I have seen these in a “can” and they look good, the kind of good that makes you look twice and go ‘dang.’ I have seen them at different locations, and they all look good. I have high hopes for these. I have not heard of them being disease resistant, but I have not seen disease issues like ‘Alice’. To counter the trouble ‘Alice’ can cause, a couple of years ago I brought in some ‘Alice in Wonderland’, a 5x5’ Michael Dirr introduction. I have seen some large potted plants, and they are beautiful. I think what I like about these the most is the flowers (on very strong stems) stick out from top to bottom looking kind of like rockets. (Truthfully it reminds me of those centerpieces you get for the 4^th of July – not at all in a bad way!).

I have small handfuls of a couple of other cultivars incoming next year.

‘Toy Soldier’ Bet you thought it was a dwarf!?!? It’s not. It will only do 4-5 x 4-5’, but it is supposed to stand up like a “Toy Soldier” on very strong stems. I also have some ‘Snowcicle’ coming in next year. It has 12-15” long panicles of DOUBLE flowers on a plant that will do 5-6 x 5-6. It is also known for its strong stems.

You will still see ‘Pee Wee’ (4’), ‘Munchkin’ (3-4’) and ‘Sikes’ (2-3’) for dwarfs. The closest thing to a “dwarf” I have found so far is the “Toy Soldier’. I have not seen anything else in a new cultivar and truly dwarf. I do, however, plan on something new in the dwarfs soon!

This year, we had a special order for some Proven Winner ‘Gatsby Gal.’ It is a brand-new cultivar and maybe a fabulous landscape plant. However, I have yet to do a double-take when I see them in a pot. ‘Gatsby Gal’ is considered a dwarf at 4x4’. It has large white flowers on very sturdy stems. ‘Gatsby Pink’ (6’) opens white and quickly changes to pink. “Gatsby Moon’ is a large “Oakleaf” coming in at 8x8 with big white mophead flowers I am going to watch these; Maybe give them one more chance. Maybe!

P.S. To those who pay attention to such crap. This is 30 years and 2 full boxes of staples for me!

What is more beautiful than Michigan in the fall? The colors around this time are brilliant! What can you do to bring that fall color home? You can consider some stunning fall-blooming perennials. One often overlooked aspect of perennial gardening is planting varieties with different bloom seasons- including fall. This is important because perennial blooms often have a short life span. Sometimes as short as two weeks! By keeping the seasons in mind when planting, you can ensure a captivating landscape with showy perennials all season long. Let me highlight my favorite fall-blooming plants and why they should be added to your next project.

Let’s start with an obvious one. An oldy but goody- the fall mum. Mums are perfect for fall because they bloom later in the season-August-October. This is usually around the time other perennials just finish their bloom cycle. Although there is debate on whether mums are perennial (best luck when insulated in the ground), they are also used in pots, or on porches for those spooky fall months. If dead-headed, you could extend the life of your mums to last the whole fall season. Available in red, orange, yellow, purple, pink, and white, fall mums will be arriving here at Christensen’s at any moment.

Another fall favorite is Anemone. Most Anemone varieties take some time in the spring to show any growth, so if you have some in the ground, do not fret if you do not see growth right away. There is an exception for the Anemone Sylvestris which is a spring blooming variety. The late bloomers don’t show color until around August and last through the fall. Varieties like ‘September Charm’, ‘Elfin Swan’, or ‘Robustissima' are a great choice. Ranging in color from white, pink to red, with adorable Daisy-like flowers, these are a perfect choice to fall.

Asters are another perfect option if you are looking for fall color. There are two different types of Aster- New York, and New England varieties. In general, New York Aster are shorter with thin  

The last plant I would like to highlight is Perovskia (Russian Sage). Perovskia comes in all shapes and sizes. Over the years, we have trialed many varieties to determine which can withstand the heat. One of the best varieties out there is the Perovskia Blue Jean Baby. Growing to 3x3 ft tall and wide, this one is great because it maintains it shape, and doesn’t get too floppy. These lavender flowers and silver foliage last all the way through fall. They also have a pleasant sage-like smell. Find varieties like Blue Jean Baby any time at the plant center.

In my job, the only thing worse than May is August. I must buy plants to sell now and next spring. It gets a little confusing sometimes (and we may end up with an extra group of plants right now or perhaps I put them on my spring order and they’re missing from the ‘now’ order!) Did I mention I also have to do my fall orders now – I kinda forgot about those!! After 29 years you would think I could handle this. I can’t (just in case you were wondering). I do, however, have a lot of backup at the nursery.

The worst part of this is; because spring is a screaming time of the year, I need to do the thinking now so later I can point and shoot on the fly! The problem is my decisions all depend on you! I must figure out what you are going to do so I can figure out what I am going to do! It is such a vicious circle! Some of you are thinking “who is this chick?” If she has been there for 29 years why haven’t I seen her?? You have. It is just that I am way older looking than you might remember! And, I am chained to my desk in deep thought (sending you a message about what you should do next year because I already had to make the decision).

It is the decisions! At this time of the year, I often come into work and announce that today is “no decision day”!! Sometimes days in a row are no decision days (I don’t think I have hit a whole week yet). I have noticed that this has become an annual (perennial?) thing! I have yet to have a day at work this year where I don’t have to make at least one decision! But I shall keep trying! Someday it will happen, I have faith.

So, I have already made a couple of decisions for you. I have a little time left to make changes – so if you have a problem with my decision, please see your nearest salesperson at Christensen’s and let them know!

Decision #1 MORE Hydrangea paniculata ‘Puffer Fish’. Wow, isn’t she awesome (It is a she because of the awesomeness!!) I was told it was a ‘BoBo’ on steroids. They weren’t kidding. The flower is far larger and more numerous than a ‘BoBo’, though the plant itself is nearly identical in size and shape. You may find these already in stock… (…if they’re not sold! They seem to sell as fast as I can order them.)

That’s probably all I have room for today. I didn’t get very far down my list. Maybe I will have a part two article coming up with more sneak peeks at my decisions!

P.S. I have been at work this am for 1 hour and have had to make 5 maybe 6 decisions already!! Tomorrow is definitely going to be a no-decision day.

A few weeks ago, I got to go out to Oregon and visit several nurseries to see their selection. It was very cool to see the variety of plants that they can grow that we can’t. Geographically, we’re almost straight across the country from each other with our southern borders hovering around the 41-42° North parallel line. We are zone 5 and they are zone 8 or 9 depending on where along the coast you are. It was amazing to hear that they can potentially gain up to 12” on a Japanese maple in one growing season or to see 4.5’ emerald green arbs that they say in a few weeks will be nice 5-6’ arbs. It was a very busy trip as I saw 10 different nurseries in 4 days, but it was totally worth it.

It’s that time of year again. The weather is hot, and the days are long. The plants are growing, blooming, and the season is in full swing. The last thing on your mind is spring bulbs! This time of year, bulbs are at the forefront of mine.  Updating our bulb selection and preparing for our Early Order Bulb Program can take quite a bit of time. Last year, we revamped the program. Largely due to the quantity increase from 50 tulips per box to 100 per box and the daffs from 50 to 75. Along with the increased quantities in these bulb sizes, we added an additional value to our customers by offering quantity breaks at 2 boxes for all of our Crocus and unusual varieties, including Chionodoxa, Hyacinthoides, Iris, Muscari, and Scilla.

The Early Order Bulb Program allows our customers to take advantage of some substantial savings. Although there is still a discount for the more boxes you buy, it doesn’t even compare to the savings of getting that order in quickly!

This season we have added a few more selections to choose from.

Unfortunately, every season we lose a few varieties that we have enjoyed. The good news is that there are so many fun choices it is exciting to see what each season holds in store! Be on the lookout for our bulb mailer that should land mid-July, but you can digitally check it out and print it if you click here! (The password is the same as the availability password on your e-mail) We also have the flyers at all our service counters. And don’t forget your BulbTone!!

Welcome back – I hope that everyone had a great holiday. Whew! Spring is finally over! For me, summer is a time of slight relaxation. 2023 is humming along and I have a month until I must start 2024. (Let’s not think about that!).

I wanted to check with everyone and make sure you all saw some of the new plant varieties at the nursery – if not, come on in as there are more newbies here and incoming.

There are a couple of new plants that I am excited about. Of the hundreds of new cultivars every year it is hard to know what to choose. Sometimes, I throw dice, sometimes I look at the magic 8-ball, and sometimes it has to do with a catchy name (I am a sucker for a catchy name!). Then I do some research and decide if the name is catchy enough! Check some of these out:

I have a couple of newer grasses this year, as well. My favorite is the Andropogon gerardii cultivars. Check out ‘Holy Smoke’ (Cheech and Chong movie ??), ‘Blackhawks’ (again with the movie?), and Red October (another movie!). ‘Holy Smoke’ and ‘Blackhawks’ both are going to be 4-5’ tall and ‘Red October’ is a dwarf coming in at 2-4’. All 3 are native prairie grass and rock hardy. All 3 also have purple-green leaves and get varying shades of red from mid-late summer through fall.

I also have a couple of new Hydrangeas! Please don’t tell Chris!!! They are a secret. The one I am most excited about is Hydrangea paniculata ‘Puffer Fish’, “a Bobo on steroids”! It has white flowers that age lime and pink. They will typically send another flower at this same time and rebloom over top of older blooms. It gives the effect of double flowers – very showy. It seems everyone likes the compact habit of the ‘Tuff Stuff’ so take a look at this one ‘Pop Star’ . This one is from the Endless Summer people. This is a typical blue or pink lacecap (macrophylla). However, ‘Pop Star’ is far more compact (and looks far denser) than the traditional ‘Endless Summer’. Its biggest claim to fame is that it reblooms much faster than a traditional ’Endless Summer’.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to get my hands on Jeffery’s Weigela ‘Bubbly Wine’. If you were unaware, Jeff Good is now the patent holder of Proven Winners® Weigela ‘Bubbly Wine’. I will let him tell you all about it. I on the other hand will tell you about a relative of Weigela ‘Midnight Wine’ with darker, shinier burgundy leaves and a 12’ tall about 3’ wide habit. W. ‘Midnight Wine Shine’ is also much denser. Finally, W. ‘Very Fine Wine’ is a dwarf – 30x30” with better hardiness and heavier rebloom.

Before I let you go – let’s talk Ilex crenata ‘Sky Pencil’ I have not grown this personally and we have not had it at the nursery before. Everyone is yelling at me about this plant. Everyone wants it and I keep saying it is not hardy enough for us, you keep saying it is! I have special ordered this plant in the past and those that have put it in the landscape have told me they are hardy. So, this year I will stock a few. Ilex crenata ‘Sky Pencil’ is a female ilex and will need a pollinator to bloom (any ilex that blooms at this same time will work.) ‘Sky Pencils’ get to be about 6-8’ and 2’ wide – yes, with a very columnar habit. It is a very dense tightly branched shrub. Considered a solid zone 6 possibly a zone 5 – it may all depend on the winter. Berries or not, it is a good-looking plant!

Have you tried these new varieties? Let us know what you think of them! We welcome your feedback on the plants we stock.

I hope to see you around the plant center, checking out all the new stuff!

Bee-lieve it or not, I have never, in my life been stung by a bee. In all my years working here at the plant center, I have managed to avoid that painful sting. Often by running around like a crazy person, screeching. The fear of the unknown is probably worse than the actual pain. As scared as I am, there are so many benefits to planting pollinator-friendly varieties that I would like to share with you. The pollination of food-grown crops, the growing number of endangered insects, easy maintenance, and low-cost gardening are just a few. Pollinator plants attract bees, wasps, butterflies, bats, and even hummingbirds. These benefits far outweigh the fear of the sting.

Pollination is the transfer of pollen from the male parts of one flower to the female parts of another, within the same species. Pollination results in fertilization, which is essential to fruit and seed production. This process is accomplished by insects, birds, reptiles, and some mammals. Fertilization is essential in food-grown crops such as fruit trees. Approximately 75% of the world’s flowering plants and 35% of the world’s food-grown crops depend on pollinators for their success. That’s roughly one in every three bites! That makes pollinators an essential factor in the global food web.

Another important reason to grow pollinating plants is the declining number of honeybees and other pollinators. This is largely due to human actions such as pesticide use, urbanization, emerging pathogens, parasites, and predators. US beekeepers are losing up to 30% of their colonies each year. While there are still over 2.88 million honeybee colonies in the US, some species are still considered vulnerable, endangered, or critically endangered. 

Pollinators are important for many reasons. Global food production, making sure invaluable insects endure, and helping our environment, and the important ecosystems within it thrive, are just a few. Planting pollinators is cost-effective, low maintenance, and will help you feel that you are doing your part to preserve our valuable planet. Just try not to get stung, I’ve heard it hurts!